I shouldn’t say that this happens 100% of the time. That would be unfair. But my experience and the testimony of many believers around me tells me that greater promotion is often precluded by greater hardship.
Hardship. I like that word. It has a nice, solid sound to it. And somehow more easily swallowed. Hardship defines my life right now. Let’s take a quick look at what’s happened to me and my family:
1. A very close relative has a miscarriage 3-4 months into the pregnancy.
2. That same relative is admitted into rehab for alcoholism.
3. I get fired for no good reason and I’m falsely accused. My wife is 4 weeks from first baby’s birth at this time.
4. A couple days after I get fired, my car won’t start. I have to take it in and it takes two days to get it fixed.
5. I started an intense dietary cleanse the same day I was fired (before I knew I was losing my job) and haven’t had comfort food or a decent tasting meal in two weeks.
6. Our cat disappears. My wife and I are so emotionally attached to this cat, and my wife feels like God is picking on her.
7. Despite some job interviews lined up, I have no solid job offers and I’m now three weeks away from the birth of my child.
Picture all of that happening within one month. I know there are plenty of you out there who have suffered worse. I’m not here to compete for the biggest pity prize. But that has been a lot of stress and pain and worry.
We have received so many words of encouragement from friends at church. At least 6 people have told us that they sensed promotion was coming. That’s not something you say foolishly or quickly to a person who lost their job. These people had reason to believe that was true.
I can accept it in theory. God wants to promote me, but to promote me means to ensure that I am able to handle the responsibility. I wish there were a few magic prayers that I could say right now, but there aren’t. I want to learn my lessons quickly so that God can stop allowing all this crap to go on.
To whom much is given, much is required. I know this. I have always expected this to be true. I have no grand illusions about the greatness of my character. I am weak. I am weak and I rely too heavily upon comfort foods and television to get me through each week.
I am giving to the community, however. I am ministering to people in need after church on Sunday. I am loving my wife the best way I know how. I comforted my cat when he was wounded.
What does a person like me need to learn or experience in order to pass the test? I wish I knew. Perhaps I do. God, give me confidence in You and birth in me the trust and dependence upon you that I need to walk in daily.
The saga continues…
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