So many things are going right for me and my family. I’m blessed beyond my expectations. You wouldn’t believe how God has met some of my deepest needs lately. I’m not even sure that the reality of it all has registered in my head yet. Still kinda reeling from the shock.
And yet, I still crave comfort. Without getting overly analytical (okay, who am I kidding? overly analytical is my job), it would seem that more money and updated gadgets and lost pet found still don’t somehow amount to comforting me on the inside. I feel more snuggled and surrounded by comfort on the outside, which is really nice, but it makes the lack of inner comfort all the more obvious.
Before God pulled the trigger on a major blessing in my life in November, he made sure that someone told me to be still and know that he is God. The point was that I had been frantically flailing around because I didn’t trust him to take care of me. I felt that the only way my life was going to improve was if I made it happen.
For several days, I woke up each morning and, after I was awake and alert, purposefully spent a few minutes being still and just acknowledging in my heart and mind that he is God. It is an exercise of remembrance and exercising faith. It’s not easy at all. My instinct was to feel frantic and focus on my problems. I’m no expert at it now, but God did answer my biggest prayers quickly.
Like I said, I’m no expert, but I learned to try something and learned something about God. He’s not so horrible as some of us think. He doesn’t require us to bend over backward in order to earn some little crumb off of his table. All he asked of me was that I practice something I still need to grow in, and he blessed and rewarded me for choosing to take the time to do something imperfectly.
There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Somewhere along the way, I hope God plans to comfort me in such a way that I don’t need food or sugar or gadgets or popularity in order to feel comforted.
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