As a bachelor (a word I never actually used to describe myself, but it’s the most accurate choice for that time period), I only appreciated the extremes. I was hopped up on a case of Dr. Pepper and a pack of cigarettes every day. I hadn’t been treated for anything yet, so I was ADD to the max and completely unconvinced that I would ever accomplish anything. When you have a history of failure, you can only draw from that to inform yourself what you can expect from the future.
I wanted a major accomplishment without working for it. I wanted to leap into full-time ministry (and one where I would be in the spotlight) even though I had no character worth mentioning. I hated hearing stories from older and wiser people about how important developing character was because that meant I would have to be patient and actually live a somewhat normal life.
I am 30 now, finally at that age where I believe I deserve respect as a man. During my twenties, I acted like a boy 80% of the time and a man the other 20%. I felt discriminated against because I was in my twenties. I was the product of my environment. Most guys I saw in their 20s acted like teenagers. None of them were particularly successful in business. Too many of them were still working podunk jobs for small pay. They weren’t providers. They weren’t strong fathers. They were doing what they want and their families were along for the ride.
I want do follow my dreams. I want to do what I love to do. But there is a difference between impulsive passions and more legitimate lifelong passions. Writing is something I have enjoyed and found pleasure in since I was seventeen years old. Starting Random Business X because I see a possibility of profitability is an impulsive desire, and one which, like many of my blogs, will probably flop. Having ideas of things that have potential to be something special is not the same as wanting something or desiring to be a part of something special.
It’s those simple things. Writing. Singing. Talking. Holding my wife. Watching the expressions change on her face. Seeing a person’s expression change from stoic to vulnerable when they receive a deeply meaningful prophetic word from God. Taking someone else’s muddled and confusing conversation and rephrasing it for them so that two people can understand each other. Being God’s
These things bring me joy.
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