I realized that I jumped the gun yet again when it comes to discussing success. Maybe this time, at least, I’m not saying celebrating too soon, but instead celebrating the wrong thing.
I’ve felt so different this past week. Even when my boss and I yelled at each other two Fridays ago, it all worked out. That must have played some small part in this. He finally showed me the respect I’ve been looking for these past 10 months. Maybe I said something to him in a way I’d never said it before. Maybe the light just went on. I don’t know. But he came to his senses and acknowledged what I had been waiting for.
On top of that, my brain has felt different. I feel a clarity in my mind that is brand new. It’s like the sludge was removed and I didn’t even realize it had left. Then there’s my attitude. I’ve been thinking and expecting positive things this past week.
I started telling everyone I knew that this “renewing my mind” thing was really working, until I realized that I hadn’t officially renewed my mind, but rather agreed with the Holy Spirit that such a renewal was needed and would happen. My will came into line with God’s will on the matter, but I can’t say that my mind is so renewed yet.
The only physical thing I have done is avoid Starbucks. I drink coffee brewed at the house or at the office now, and save money and toxins (though I’m not storing the toxins for a rainy day). I’ve cut out a major source of corn syrup and chemicals which cause mood swings, including feelings of euphoria.
Anyhow, the point is that I have not suddenly attained sainthood. This will not make as much sense to you who read this as you who I have spoken to lately. I haven’t sufficiently recorded my goings on lately, mostly because I actually forgot that this blog existed for about a week. That’s what happens when you try to juggle too much.
But I’m back on track, and will try to keep in touch. If you get really bored in between my posts, go to YouTube and search for Lonelygirl15. There are nearly 300 sequential clips that are like a television show parsed in smaller segments. Not sure how entertaining it is, since I’ve only watched a few episodes, but it’s hugely popular nationwide, so I guess it’s worth checking out.
Back soon.
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