Call it my morbid side, if that makes you feel better. But I think of the firstborn child my wife and I will soon introduce to the world, and I can’t help but think about the tragedy I am responsible for. I will be responsible for all the ugliness this child experiences in his or her lifetime. Without my desire, this child wouldn’t exist. I have willingly participated in bringing a life into a dark world.
I think about this because I spent years resenting that I was ever born. It wasn’t an option for me. I had no choice in the matter. Couples randomly decide to have children with little or no thought about how this world will affect such innocent minds.
How many millions of adults out there resent children for reminding them of innocence lost? Why put a child through the pain of life? Are there joys in this life? Of course. There are joys and there are purposes to accomplish. But that doesn’t mean each child is prepared to face a world that curses and spits on anything resembling innocence.
I am doing the same thing my parents did to me. I am bringing life into this world without its consent. God, please forgive me for all the pain and suffering this child will know. Please allow him or her to live a life without the demented perspective I grew up with.
I want something better for my children. I want them to have what I didn’t have. I want them to feel connected to and loved by their parents. I want them to have a good life and expect good things from the choices they make. Give them lvies I would covet. That is my prayer.
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