Today began extremely well. It went Starbucks well. It goes without saying that a day beginning with Starbucks is a day worth remembering. Lunch was enjoyable. I spent my lunch hour writing a blog at a new cafe. Returning to work was the first mistake. Little did I know that I would return to an email inbox full of assignments all due tomorrow - and the person assigning them is nowhere close to being my boss.
My temper flared hot instantly. It was all I could do to compose myself and write a professional sounding email response. Now that the day is over and I have some distance, I realize that my anger was fueled by my fear. These 8 assignments due within 24 hours which, I forgot to mention, were originally assigned to other people who failed to accomplish them. I had completed all of my assignments for this project and everyone else was behind schedule. When I saw those emails, the first thought in my mind was how everyone would now blame me if the project wasn’t completed on time. The injustice of that scenario caused immediate panic which led to explosive anger.
When everything you do for an employer is at best met with a “Good job! Too bad you still suck at that, that and that,” you tend to feel a bit defensive. While some other employees have received praise from the big man, he feels the need to temper his compliments to me with criticisms. I love the fairness of it all.
After a good half hour venting session with my immediate manager, I felt much better for being heard. It means a lot for someone to listen, understand, and sympathize. Obviously, we’d all like for that someone to not only sympathize but work on our behalf as well. While that would be nice, I’m not holding my breath. I don’t expect anyone at work to be on my side when it really counts. They come to me to take, not to give. Nobody ever comes to give.
Despite that, I feel much better now, having vented at work in a positive manner. My manager is actually a really good guy. He is willing to listen without judging. But even if you don’t have that manager who makes you feel understood, conflict at work should be mandatory. Forget all the political correctness and posturing. Conflict is what happens when real people are honest. Conflict resolution is what happens when those same people want to understand and resolve differences so that everyone enjoys their role in the company.
It is my firm conviction that workplace conflict is a lost artform in desperate need of a renaissance. Perhaps I should start a movement.
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