I hear people say that God is the real provider, and I wonder what’s my role in all of this then? Faith and reality are difficult to reconcile. Believe this, they say, for no other reason except someone said to. God will provide all your needs. I hope so. I make choices every day not to freak out over being able to pay the bills or provide for our baby. I choose to let someone else carry the weight.
Faith is a tricky thing. It’s not what the mainline Baptists and Methodists and Presbyterians make it out to be. Faith is trust. Faith is confidence. I have confidence that I am a blessed man. I feel blessed. I’m not rich, but my needs are always provided for. Financially, I actually do expect to be blessed with at least what I need, if not also some of what I want.
But that makes job interviews and emotional positioning somewhat confusing. How hard do I press for that new job? Is it my doing, or the Lord’s? How much effort is needed from me, and how much is too much? At what point am I relying on my own strength?
A guy told me recently that he realized he had been trying to make money so that he wouldn’t need God. That was his goal. He didn’t want to need faith. He wanted to provide it all so he could count on his money to help his family make it through. That statement cut me to the bone. It’s true if anything is true. Pushing forward to make more money is usually a statement from my heart that I don’t really believe God wants me to have nicer things. I believe he will provide my needs, but my wants fall under this category of the unknown. Maybe he does want to give me a nicer house, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he does want me to take my family on vacations to the Caribbean; maybe he doesn’t. I honestly don’t know.
That explains all the hard work and stress. God will give me what I need, but will I always be lower middle class? I don’t know.
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