I have no idea how this happened. But God flipped a switch in me. Suddenly, since the weekend, my life is different. I am happier, more positive, more hopeful, more eager to please the Lord by renewing my mind.
I realize that the majority of my posts here have been depressed, negative, and imbalanced. That’s the beauty of the Lord. Even if I have to face more difficulty soon, for now, I am blessed and I know it.
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It was an exciting dream, though filled with unexpected twists. It was Labor Day, which, to me, meant something special. I’m not sure how we knew it was almost time for the baby to be born. We drove to a hospital of sorts. We came into the waiting room and were assigned an area to sit in a plush and comfortable waiting room. This male nurse was apparently in charge of making sure we were set up properly.
Then a thin, good looking, middle aged man walked in the room, and I automatically assumed he was the doctor. He walked with that smooth and untouchable air of deity. He knew some of the patients waiting by name, and he asked how they were.
Next thing I know, Heather and I are in a room, and the nurse is about to inject something into Heather’s tube. I get very nervous and ask him what it is. I forget his answer, but his response told me that it was something to induce labor. He indicated that we were on a schedule, and that in order to fit us in, we would have to make the birth happen soon.
At that moment, I realized something was wrong. We don’t agree with the concept of inducing labor! What’s wrong with this picture? We weren’t going to have this baby in a hospital!
I caught the nurse out in the hall and told him that we are supposed to have a natural birth. We’re supposed to have a home birth. He looked surprised and said something about stopping the process here, then. His expression told me that he would respect our decision and help us leave. Once Heather heard me tell him we were having our baby at home, she and I both relaxed. It was like we’d been caught up in a horrifying mistake, and suddenly realized it in time to return to what feels safe.
I felt very good and natural about the home birth, and was grateful that we didn’t have to stay at the hospital.
Overall, the dream was positive. There were a few other parts where I went from being the adult husband to the little child at the hospital. Looking back on it now, the dream appears to mean that I (maybe both of us) am still battling with conventional thinking / tradition to grasp hold of the path we have chosen. But the ending of the dream tells me that in the end, I will find safety and reassurance and peace in the decision to have a home birth, and the ideology of natural versus scientific will win out.
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It appears that I have spread myself so thin that I completely forgot that this blog existed. I am at the point where I need to sell some domain names to both remain profitable and to narrow the scope of my focus.
After two years of frantically searching for my niche and constantly passing it up for what I thought “should be” my niche, I am finally settling back into what works for me naturally.
Also, the secrecy of this blog’s existence has been compromised, so I cannot share everything I wanted to share with you. I am partly to blame for the exposure. It could not be helped.
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