Strange, how we think we want something then change our minds once we have it. I thought I’d bitch and moan about my boss and the job a lot more than I have. I thought this was my golden opportunity to tell him off for all the stupid things he does and says without having to attach my name to it. But something is amiss. I don’t feel compelled to tell him off in front of the whole wide world.
Had I been blogging on Saturday, I’d be telling you a different story. I was super pissed. He had unwittingly sabotaged my efforts to deliver an important report on time. It was a $8K report. That’s how much the client agreed to pay for the information. And here I was, on the weekend, putting in my 60th hour of work that week, arguing with my wife because I hadn’t spent any time on her, and feeling like a failure.
So I should have vented here. I will try to do so next time. Honestly, if I could go back in time and take back the email I sent him on Saturday, I would. Not because I’m afraid of him, mind you. Far from it. No, because I want to maintain a quasi-peaceful atmosphere at work until I quit. And I hope to turn in my notice before the end of this month.
It’s a silly company, and I’ve no real reason to bash it. They’ll either fail or rebuild. I can’t predict abject failure because they might decide to take a few things seriously and improve the quality of life for their employees in order to avoid sinking.
But this is what I can tell you: It was an 8 person agency. One person has put in his two weeks notice, totally surprising the rest of us. We all thought he would go down with the ship. I am interviewing with several interested employers. Two other employees are just biding their time, looking for the right opportunity to quit and get a better job. And another person has had two interviews with a prospect even though they might stick around to help rebuild. So potentially 5 out of 8 people will leave this year. I predict 4 of 8 for sure.
My boss will hire anywhere from 1-3 more people before year’s end, knowing him. But I won’t be there. I will either be an employee elsewhere or create a new agency with two other people. Either way, I will make more money, get more respect, and work with a more structured/productive environment.
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Today, I suffered a major panic attack - 7.5 on the Richter scale. My project is due on Monday. It’s a very detailed report on a client’s destined to fail business model. I’ve had one week to write and research the necessary info because my coworkers dropped the ball on the research side.
I’ve put in 55 hours this week and would have rounded that up to 65+ had I not just had a major argument with my wife. She can’t stand it when I ignore her for the Web. I don’t mean too, and honestly, I don’t even know that I do ignore her. But I do often run to the Web for a little blog reading or writing to pass the time when bored.
She’s right: I could choose to find more creative things to do with my time in the real world. What can I say? The real world isn’t so hot in my experience. A bunch of people doing and saying stupid things. That’s what’s so great about the Web. It is a more equal playing field. Any decent communicator can become a star given the right setting and circumstances.
I am so taken by the possibilities. If America is the land of opportunity, the Web is the land of uber-opportunity. You can make tons of money, build a loyal readership, get famous, or really screw with stupid people all day long.
Blogs, social networking sites, forums, chat rooms, bulletin boards, etc. There’s so much opportunity for a person’s voice to be heard. I don’t even visit chat rooms or bulletin boards, and I rarely touch a forum. When my wife describes her plight, I feel ridiculous about caring so much about Web stuff.
But then I get back online, and I’m hooked. I totally love it here. And have the right notebook computer really enhances the whole process. Nothing like tapping away on an awesome keyboard.
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It’s easy to say that in public, because we are all motivated to save face in public and we also may feel tempted to convince ourselves of our own happiness. I had serious doubts along the way. We fought like cats and dogs (and NOT in the cute cartoon sense). We had more than our share of insults and yelling and storming out and door slamming and cursing. It sounds extreme to some and lame to others, but it’s true regardless.
I stuck with her in college because I saw potential. She had plenty of severe issues, but nothing that a solid loving relationship couldn’t fix… or so I believed.
Here we are, five months into our first pregnancy, and she is blossoming into the woman I always dreamed of. Those soft and tender, motherly instincts are taking over. As time goes by, we both push to grow and mature and to love each other more unselfishly than before.
Tonight, when I came home from work, she met me on the doorstep. Her eyes were bright and her smile was sincere. She was genuinely happy to see me. This appears to be a growing trend with her. Perhaps there is a bit of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” at play here. I have been working a lot lately. But rather than grow cold from distance, she has developed a deeper appreciation for me.
Every time I look into her face, I see someone I am grateful to know. Someone who makes me feel lucky. Someone I never grow tired of talking to. Someone I will know better with ever new year.
It sounds cheesy, I know. But when the woman you love is supporting the growth of your firstborn child, she takes on a whole new magic and mystery.
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For the first time in my life, I find myself faced with a decision between more than one excellent job opportunity. Not just two, but three opportunities have presented themselves in the past month! Seriously. When does this happen to anyone except the upper echelon?Today was challenging. Not only do I have a huge project due at the end of this week, which requires that I work from home in the evenings just to stay on target. That is nerve racking enough. This project will make the company $8K. On top of that responsibility, I had a second interview with one of the other companies today. The interviewer scheduled the meeting for an hour and a half… What to do?Luckily, working from home in the evenings this week afforded me the opportunity/right to take an extended lunch break to run errands. That doesn’t mean I hit smooth sailing. Not a chance. I had to stop at Subway and pick up my 6″ tuna sub on wheat. I ate on the way toward my interview. Just prior to arriving, I stopped at a Holiday Inn Select to change into my suit. In the middle of the summer heat, I put on a dark suit, and commenced sweating like a pig (though they don’t sweat).The interview went well, despite the CFO treating me like a five year old. I’ll either forgive him or avoid him in the future. He doesn’t know what I do. That makes him somewhat irrelevant anyway. They didn’t offer me the job outright, but they did email me an hour or so later and ask for some work contacts and that I take a personality profile test. In the meantime, I have another company to negotiate with. Hopefully, they will see that I am in demand and offer me a job quickly.Time will tell….Has anyone else been caught in an awkward or unusual interview experience?
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My wife is seriously concerned about my blogging. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink excessively. I don’t eat all that much (a little too much). But I spend most available waking moments on the computer, either blogging or reading blogs. I have 40+ blog feeds in my feed reader. I can’t keep up with all of them. I could probably narrow that number down to 20 and feel no deep loss.
Yes, the sun is shining outside. Yes, the birds are chirping. It’s beautiful weather, and all I want to do is stay indoors and mess around online. Sure, I watch movies and some television too. This isn’t the place I want to commune with nature. I want the beach. A tropical beach. A Caribbean beach. I may only live on the beach for a couple years in my life, but the experience is a requirement for my life.
I live by an apparently unusual belief system. I believe that anything is possible. This is more true in the future tense. I have some serious doubts about opportunities in the present, but I fully believe that anything can happen in the future. All it takes is the right set of circumstances between now and then.
For now, I blog. I will likely blog then, as well. But blogging is my way of balancing the madness. While the world is uncertain, I control this blog. Though I may not always be appreciated at work, I control my destiny here.
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